Category: Headspace

Bondage Tip #5 – Humiliation

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Humiliation is a subjective term. Some boys love to be diapered, some love to be their Sir’s urinal, and others love to be bound in public. What is humiliating for one isn’t humiliating for another. Remembering this will help you when the sub you’re playing with wants to be humiliated. Talk with them first, before they are gagged, and see what their humiliation interests and limits are.

Pushing a boys humiliation limits can be a challenge sometimes. With a diaper, for example, they may enjoy wearing one but not wetting one. Forcing them to drink enough liquid to the point they have no choice but to wet the diaper can be humiliating for them. It is a loss of control for them, a loss forced by another. A boy may also enjoy being bound in public, but not gagged. While they are helpless to stop you, gag them in a way that is visible. They will definitely find humility in being gagged in front of others.

Regardless of intentions, you also don’t want to make humiliation into a negative experience, one that turns either the boy or yourself off. Pushing a sub past his limits should be done slowly and with their permission. Doing so otherwise can lead to problems and bad feelings. Having a good connection with the sub can usually make these things go a whole lot easier.

Pup Headspace

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A headspace is place in your mind where you can put yourself into a role that you otherwise would not fulfill. This is similar to the concept of self-hypnosis where you are able to achieve a higher sense of awareness of self and are able to focus intently on a single idea and suggest ideas to yourself that you might otherwise find silly. Just as there are many different ways to enter a headspace, there are many different headspaces one can enter. In other words, a slave and a pup may both be in the same gear, and be eating out of the same dog bowl, but due to the differences in personality, will result in them acting differently. Having experienced the power of hypnosis, I find that a feeling of security and calmness is the basic formula for achieving a suggestible state of mind. This can be assisted with gear like blindfolds, hoods, earplugs, or other types of sensory deprivation.

In my experience in pup play, I find that it’s not the gear, but the mentality which really makes a good pup. Sure a high quality pup hood can make a hot photo, but pup play is about the dynamic relationship between pup and Sir. For me, a pup headspace is achieved in stages. I first need to get into a submissive headspace. For me, I find bondage like handcuffs, collars, fist mitts, hoods or the like to help me become more passive (after exhausting myself struggling of course). This is where the concept of self-hypnosis plays a role. As a bound submissive, I start to tell myself that I am not in control, and that in all that matters right now is Sir’s desires and wishes, because I no longer have choice.
The next step is a bit more tricky, as the ability to enter and the process of entering a pup headspace differs from person to person. I find that being treated as a pup, being pet and being given simple commands and rewards is helpful in lulling myself into the headspace, but for newcomers, this may seem silly and unintuitive. The key is to place yourself into a state of deep relaxation where you can suggest to yourself that acting and reacting like a dog isn’t silly, but expected. Although easier said than done, once a headspace is achieved, a sub can be pushed harder and deeper into the role, and a dom can have a hell of a lot of fun with an eager pup.